My Struggle With Writing

I have always struggled with English class; specifically writing essays. I spend hours trying to choose a topic to write about. Sometimes feeling overwhelmed and even too stressed, I sit at the computer in tears, crying because I am struggling to come up with just one single idea. One idea is all I need to start my essay; if only I could come up with one idea. I spend so much of my time doing homework when it comes to completing an English assignment; way more time than any person ever should. “Why does English have to be such a difficult and challenging subject?” I wonder. I try to learn all that I can to be successful in my writing; hoping that my efforts will make English just a little easier. 

“What should I write?” is all I can think when I sit at the computer for an English assignment. Getting a bad case of writer’s block, I sit there and stare wondering if I will ever be able to think outside the box and be imaginative and creative. “How do I come up with a good topic? And if I find one, how do I start the introduction? What can I do to help make it so that my writing makes more sense to the readers? How do I make this an enjoyable essay?” Many questions pop into my mind overwhelming me making me feel that I am unsure I will be able to complete my assignment. Working to overcome this, I am extending my way of thinking, and looking for inspiration in everyday life, always hoping that I will someday be able to make this a much easier task.

If only I could be assigned a specific topic with specific evidence. I wish that someone would sit down with me and say, “Rachel, this is what you are writing about, and this is what I expect you to cover in your essay.” When I have certain points I am assigned to write about, I feel that I am more able and comfortable to write a great essay; explaining every important detail, making the essay understandable and informative for the reader. Using evidence from the text to help me explain my ideas, having only one not multiple possibilities, is a much easier and less stressful task for me to complete. But for some reason, this often is not the situation I am given. Essays with topics that are more abstract with endless possibilities, are usually assigned for me to write about. These are the types of essays that come as a struggle. These are the ones that I feel I am unable to create something unique or exciting; that my level of creativity is very low when it comes to singling it down to one idea. Very slowly, the process of coming up with ideas is becoming a tiny bit easier each time I write an essay. 

I can recall a specific time in my life when I was assigned to write an essay for reflections. I was given a theme, a very broad theme. “Heroes,” was what I was supposed to write about. “Heroes” and that was it. “How was I supposed to come up with what to write about when given this topic?” There are many influential people who I view as heroes in my life. I could’ve picked any one of them to write about. But this theme could have also meant that I could write an exciting, more fictional story based on superheroes. I thought to myself, “I’m not creative. I’m not able to write a fictional essay if I’m not imaginative. But I’m also questioning how I would write an essay on heroes in my life. I could write a paragraph maybe, but an essay?” With all these questions and thoughts in mind, I decided that the best way to conquer this essay would be to use the people surrounding me. I went to my teacher, Ms. Ericksen, asking her for help with brainstorming to come up with an idea. She helped me to be calm and not worry or stress about the assignment. Together we came up with an idea. Using my peers and teachers is one thing I have learned will help me greatly in overcoming my struggle with writing. 

Every time I am assigned an essay, I wish that I would not automatically be stressed and overwhelmed. I hope to improve my abilities with being creative and coming up with exciting and interesting ideas for my writing. I want to be a great writer and enjoy writing. Hopefully someday I can accomplish my goal of overcoming struggling with writing. Finding a topic that I am confident I would be able to have enough information to write an essay on, is one thing I have been working towards. I will continue to ask if I need help and I will always strive to do my best. When I am overwhelmed with writing an essay, I am learning that if I do my best, I can’t continue to worry. I tried my best and that is the most that I can do.